Changes

We have experienced a lot since the last posting. Grandma was here until the end of July, 11 yr old Summer Camp, Camping Trip over the 4th up Big Cottonwood Canyon at Redman Campground with kids, a camping trip to 9 Mile Canyon with just Doug and I, and just last week our trip to New Mexico for the family reunion. It has been a busy summer and full.  Just like my life--busy and full from the outset. I got a call this morning from our bishopric member, and I think that I will be released from my 11 yr old scout calling. That has me in tears right now. It has been a calling I have loved, but lately, it has been one that I realize I am maybe a little too old for. I don't have the stamina or energy to handle it. I presently have 6 boys that I have been able to help teach and motivate and enjoy. It will be hard to say goodby. I am having a hard time saying goodby to a lot of things in my life. As one things come to an end, how do I move on to the next without feeling a loss and a feeling that it will never be better than this. How do I find things to look forward to? The really good thing about being a young mother is how very busy and full your life is.  The time in your life that you hardly have time to breathe, let alone stopping and smelling the roses.  Now I am at the other end of this, and wondering how do I do this next phase in my life?  This release has kind of magnified all of my worries about how to go on to the next thing in life--whatever it is.  So I find myself crying and sad--knowing that I need to get a grip and figure it out--just like everyone else that has had to go through this--everyone who has lived on earth and those who are on the other side. They had to deal with this too and they coped and probably even expanded. So if God is always into expansion, how do I expand myself when life is also minimizing for me. You get to this point in life and you are suppose to downsize.  I fight that--but I really don't have the energy I once did to keep up the yard and house. Like everything in life--the flow and ebbs--we have to all exit. How do we do that? I am learning and figuring it out as I go. I like the term I came across in the email I recently sent about Helen Keller--"feel as we go".  That's all we really have to go on isn't it. All of this mortality, all this material here that we can touch and feel with all our senses, will evaporate--and the only thing we have left is what we can feel with our spirit.  That will be the only real thing there is. So to develop our spiritual senses is what we should be spending most of our time in life refining.  Maybe that is why the temple becomes dearer to me as time goes on. I am becoming more sensitive to the things of the spirit thank goodness. My hope for me is that my life will expand--not just exit out of existence--I want to become more than I am presently, and not feel bad about what I am losing physically, but what I am gaining in the other spectrums.    God loves us and wants us to be happy. By not being in perpetual youth, we learn how to develop our spiritual side more.  This all sounds kind of heavy and morose--and I have never been one to dwell on the sad things of life long--I have to find the light in the dark and go towards that. That is the way God wants it to be. We need to find the happy in the sad. Counting my blessings and looking forward to the positive in my life is the way to do that. So this post has been retrospective, but therapeutice for me. To share my thoughts and work my way through the process. I love God--so glad He is there for each of us. So glad I chose his plan, and I want to continue to chose his plan and not Satan's. That means I need to be happy. It is the plan of happiness and I get to find the happiness always in my life.
So what is good about all this change?  Because there is always good--we just get to figure it out.  I'll let you know as I find it.  

Moab break--cool down time. So glad for the change in our lives when Helen married Casey. We now get the wonderful association with Helen and 3 beautiful children and all of Helen's family too. That applys to each of our children's spouses and those grandchildren. Can't wait to see who Sean will bring to the family.

Doug did another horse training demonstration up at Rendevous Ranch for the group of boys they had there. What a wonderful experience to go and associate with all those fine young men up there--most of them guys that Casey had met before he married. Each of us have our lives unfolding before us minute to minute--it has a purpose--we just may not know the purpose yet. Casey's contact with some of the founders of Rendevous Service Ranch back when, has brought this into being (where Doug goes and shares himself and what he does with them). We all play a role, huh. God is at work in our lives. We just have to learn to trust that He is and He has a purpose.

 love this picture of Zeke horse--the finger in the nose is a classic. We are at El Moro National Monument --just a place to be and enjoy family.

 Likewise, a nice pine covered picnic area--just a place to be and enjoy family. Look at all these wonderful grandchildren that we get to hang out with and have fun on the swing Casey and Sean threw together.  While we were here Derek came up and gave me a hug and told me he loved me--unexpected and sweet.  Thankful for him and the part he has played in our family, just as I am of each of our children, their spouses and their children. 

The Ramah Cemetery story of Alan Smith has already been shared--here he is with Noble Zeke. His story of how Noble Rogers had touched his life reminds us of how each of us has a part in someone else's life--and hopefully for good. It was a tender moment that let us know that Noble's life is still touching lives, even after his death--ours. If we could be more aware of people around us like he was for 2 kids walking to school in bad weather--we'd be being good.

A hot day in Gallup, New Mexico watching the Indian Ceremonial parade. Here we are with family and some extended family, having another opportunity to associate. Chuck even became acquainted with the Navajos around us--he is so great at that. Our camera's batteries died after this--so I have no more pictures for the rest of the trip. But having come to the end of this blog I realize--I have a role to play, until I have finished my work on the earth, and even after--I will always have a role to play, just as each of us does. We must never buy into Satan's idea that we really don't count. We always count and we always will make a difference. It is up to us of how much of a difference we will make. That should be a big self esteem builder. Gird up our loins and make a difference in the world--with whatever and whoever the Lord puts in our path. Love you all. Mom