Spring

Spring is definitely here.  I love the first flowers that come this time of year--bulb flowers like the daffodils, crocus, hyacinth and now the tulips.  They are really remarkable, coming out of the cold earth to show off such beautiful colors. I think back to my childhood and remember how I was always so fascinated with flowers.  Sis Davis who lived down the street had created this beautiful flower bed, and I was always there admiring it and smelling, observing and asking questions about her flowers.  I thought it was magical.  Mom had flowers around the house too, and always tried to plant some annuals such as stocks, and petunias every year.  The narcissus bulbs she had planted in the front and came up every spring were some of my favorite, for unlike daffodils they had a wonderful fragrance.  I have some of those bulbs under my south side windows and yes they are blooming right now and have the same sweet fragrance.  My idea of a mansion in heaven would be a house surrounded by gorgeous flower beds with every variety of flowers blooming and what delight it would be to see all that beauty every day.  I get excited about flowers.  I guess that is so important to have things you get excited about, because it makes you smile and re-energizes you for the other necessary things of life that maybe aren't so exciting. I do love having flower beds around my yard, and even though at times it gets to be a little too much, brings me joy when they are blooming and doing well.

 My love of family history and pursuing that interest is always exciting and fun--probably sounds crazy to some, but it can totally absorb me.  Last Friday I thought I would start do some internet research on Lucinda Bybee Layne--4-5 hrs later I resurfaced.  Had uncovered some records in that time letting me know where she was and what she was doing. It also became obvious that I needed to go down to the Family History Library down town and search records down there.  So I figured out a way to work that into my life the next day.  I was meeting my sisters for a Bountiful Temple session for Dad's 100th birthday celebration-- 7:45 am--got there in the nick of time after having a road closure necessitate some back road detours through Bountiful--I think the Spirit guided me that day. Anyway sure was nice to sit in the Celestial room for 20 or 30 minutes just hanging out with 3 of my sisters (Marlene is in town).  I love that I have 5 sisters to share life with!  How sweet that makes things (makes me cry).  I then headed back home with a stop at the FHL , spent time looking at some microfilms and books--found more information which brought more ??'s. Got back home and tried to focus back on things that needed to be taken care of here, like dinner for Sunday which included making a lasagna and 2 pies from scratch.  I  like to think that the energy to do the homemaking skills was derived from doing something I loved--even though I like cooking too.  But they kind of feed on each other.  But of course, with Lucinda still on my mind ( I could make that into a song, huh?) I checked out on the FHL catalog what else and where else I could look for information on her and her life.  That got me planning my next trip to the FHL downtown--and that's where I plan on going  again today.  Talked to Marlene again last night and she wants to join me and have me help her get started doing more genealogy--so we are going to make a day of it downtown.  Cleared it with Doug who says he will be fine batching here at home.  I think we are figuring out the retirement thing better.  I am trying not to feel like I have to only plan things we do together, but its ok to do separate things . 
My oil painting too is almost done--have had more success with it, thanks to my teacher, Lisa.  All of these "happy" things are in way of also counteracting the not so good things in life.  There is plenty of those.  And it seems like I have had a flurry of exciting things, but normally it is the just day to day routine.  Have had the happy news for Bruce--feel so blessed for that.  But also have the news that the Orme's are going on a mission, like real soon, and also the Britton's and now I found out the Pells will be moving.  I will feel abandoned, my worse fear--seriously. I know it stems back to an early, early childhood experience, and I get a great deal of anxiety building inside.  The Lord is helping out--my plug for the Atonement.  Use it to help you keep happy and balanced in life.  Without that, we would all be swallowed up in the darkness of life at times.  I am grateful for that hugh help and buffer that brings calmness and cheer--that its all ok, it will all work out. Our neighbors will be gone,  and yes we will miss them, but life will go on and be ok, probably even good.  I know the atonement has been what has sustained me and us through the 10 + yrs of waiting and hoping for the Bachands.  You can allow yourself to get down or you can pray for help, smile and hang on to hope.  The Lord has lifted our spirits and sustained us when times were bleak (like December, January, February), and I know he will now through this other kind of hard time.  Maybe that is why these first flowers of Spring are so wonderful, they renew my hope that a happier and beautiful world will always  emerge again.