These are the times that test Man's soul

I was reminded of that line (above--hopefully that is correct)--it pretty much sums up our situation here at home.  Bruce received more bad news this week, as they turned him down on the BYU job offer he has been waiting on.  We assumed the best as all indications were super positive as well as many more things.  Bruce and Holly had tried to qualify themselves for every blessing from the Lord by being as faithful as they could be in their church work as well as weekly attendance at the temple.  None of that was in vain, for there has been rich blessings come from that already.  Bruce has also been doing work for his deceased ancestors in this process.  Maybe that this has been so drawn out about 6 mos--that has made this an especially bitter pill to swallow.  What more could have been done?  Bruce was the best qualified for this job--we know from hearing what the other candidates credentials were--but that leads us nowhere.  It is what it is now, and we are left to pick up the pieces of our lives.  How to go on from here?  I, as will as the rest of the household is in mourning tonight and I have had to do some soul searching to see where this leaves me.  In that process I have gone to the well for help.  The Lord has not left me alone.  There has been comfort and peace and renewed faith in spite of the heartache and wondering.  I had a choice to either accept the Lord's will on this or get angry at Him for this additional rejection that has come Bruce and Holly's way.  It boils down to humbling myself to accept that will--no matter what and however long and no matter what comes.  Obviously I am not the only one in this boat.  It more fully impacts Bruce and Holly, and they have a decision to make on how they take this latest blow.  I pray for them.  I know that as we let go and let God determine the outcome, there will be peace.  And whatever He has arranged will be ok--that I can accept whatever that is??  I'm sure there will be doubts and fears come, but I have determined to choose this course,  and pray that God will give us strength to endure whatever may come.

Now a week later--I have to add.  Have had a week to absorb and to fight off the natural man tendencies.  It is hard at times to not feel sorry for myself and my family--victimized.  I have learned a few more things.  That as I dwell on the hurt and negativeness, Satan gets an inrode and brings a negative spirit into my life.  I have decided that is something I like worse than feeling sorry for my self--so I have to give the victim thing up and work  at seeing others and their hurts and needs--and help others--that helps in getting rid of Satan and minimizes my pain .  Read Dave's blog and how he will have to go in for a 2nd surgery.  I realized that pain is pain and I can feel for Dave because of the pain we have and are experiencing through Bruce's no job situation. Brought tears to my eyes thinking of what he will have to endure a 2nd time and-- why do we need these experiences? ?  Dave was a really great guy, and Bruce is a really great guy, our family is trying to do good--is this pain necessary??   Apparently we aren't good enough--because we needed some more growth and refining??  Maybe one of the reasons for all this hurt.  We endure on--not necessarily doing it the best, but I'm trying.